Movies That Should Never Have Been Remade
Once in a while, Hollywood runs out of ideas and falls back on: The Sequel. Sometimes, they get things right (King Kong, The Italian Job, Ocean’s 11), but other times, things go horribly wrong:
1. Halloween - After being committed for 17 years, Michael Myers, now a grown man and still very dangerous, escapes from the mental institution (where he was committed as a 10 year old) and he immediately returns to Haddonfield, where he wants to find his baby sister, Laurie. Anyone who crosses his path is in mortal danger.
Thoughts: It doesn’t seem to me that anything was wrong with the original movie. In fact, I prefer it, because we don’t have an hour of boring back story. We don’t really care why Michael Myers is the way he is; he just is.
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2. Psycho - A young female embezzler arrives at the Bates Motel which has terrible secrets of its own.
Thoughts: If you’re going to make a movie with the same plot and dialogue, why even bother? The idea of a remake is to remake the film, not just recast it in color. And honestly, Anne Heche..you are NO Janet Leigh.
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3. Planet of the Apes – An astronaut lands on a planet inhabited by human-like apes, who rule the planet with an iron fist.
Thoughts: No Charleton Heston or Statue of Liberty? Count me out. Helena Bonham Carter looks like Michael Jackson.
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4. 101 Dalmatians – A woman kidnaps puppies to kill them for their fur, but various animals then gang up against her and get their revenge in slapstick fashion.
Thoughts: Cartoons can rarely be brought to life. The Disney cash-in is a little played out. Fortunately, they gave us Glenn Close, and she’s ALWAYS fabulous.
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5. The Pink Panther – Loosely based on the 1964 Peter Sellers original film, where the detective must solve the murder of a famous soccer coach and find out who stole the infamous Pink Panther diamond.
Thoughts: Apparently, Steve Martin and Beyonce thought that they could do better than Peter Sellars. They were mistaken. If Steve Martin wants to resurrect his career, maybe he should start doing his own movies, instead of ruining classics (The Out-of-Towners and Cheaper By The Dozen would like a word with you).
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Guest Post: Steve can normally be found at his blog: Gay Blog with Adam and Steve
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